Rochester's BEST Mayo Clinic Hotel: Unbeatable Comfort & Location!
Okay, hold on tight, because we're about to dive headfirst into a review that’s less polished brochure and more "what actually happened." Buckle up, buttercups, because this is gonna be brutally honest and probably a little messy. (I'm also going to sprinkle in some SEO and metadata stuff, because…well, that's the name of the game, isn't it?)
(Meta-Keywords: Hotel Review, Accessibility, Spa, Restaurants, Amenities, COVID-19 Safety, [Hotel Name], [Location], Honest Review, Travel, Vacation, Luxury, Family-Friendly, Wheelchair Accessible, Free Wi-Fi, Best Hotels)
Let’s get this over with. My goal is to make this review very relatable.
The "What Was I Thinking?" Arrival Chaos and First Impressions
Okay, let's be real – navigating an airport after a 12-hour flight is a special kind of circle of hell. But hey, at least the airport transfer was punctual! Airport transfer – check. Right off the bat, I'm already impressed. The car park was…well, it was there. Car park [on-site] – check. Free, even! Car park [free of charge] – double check.
The lobby. Oh, the lobby. It was…grand. Like, unnecessarily grand. Lots of polished surfaces that practically screamed "expensive" and "don't spill anything." (Air conditioning in public area – absolutely. And blasting.) And then, the check-in. Contactless? Nope. Private? Nope. Express? Triple nope. The front desk was like a bottleneck of confused tourists and stressed staff. Front desk [24-hour] – technically true, but good luck getting anyone's attention at 3 AM. But I didn't mind the Doorman. Made me feel important, for like, twenty seconds.
My room? (Now available in all rooms) – well, that's where the messy begins.
Room Review: Luxuries, Annoyances, and the Great Blackout Curtain Debacle
Air conditioning – yes. Alarm clock – yes, but I never could figure out how to make it stop beeping. Bathrobes – plush. Bathroom phone – pointless. Like, who am I calling? Room service? (More on that disaster later). Bathtub – beautiful, oversized, and then I realized there was no stopper! Seriously, who forgets a bathtub stopper?! Blackout curtains – glorious! Except, they didn't quite blackout. Stupid slivers of light. Carpeting – a little worn. Closet – adequate. Coffee/tea maker – bless. Complimentary tea – yes, but the tea bags were the kind that tasted like they'd been sitting in a cupboard since the dawn of time. Daily housekeeping – mostly stellar, but one day they completely forgot to replace the towels. Hello, damp! They also always forgot the extra long bed, so I had to make do with an extra long bed. Free bottled water – plentiful, thank goodness. Hair dryer – works…eventually. High floor – check! In-room safe box – check. Internet access – LAN – I didn't even try it. Internet access – wireless – mostly reliable, but occasionally dropped out at crucial moments (like when I was trying to upload photos of my stunning view). Ironing facilities – never used them. Laptop workspace – cramped. Linens – fine. Mini bar – ridiculously priced. Mirror – good. Non-smoking – thankfully. On-demand movies – the selection was…limited. Private bathroom – yes. Reading light – meh. Refrigerator – useful. Safety/security feature – yes. Satellite/cable channels – a million channels I didn't understand. Scale – ugh. Seating area – yes, but uncomfortable. Separate shower/bathtub – yes. Shower – good water pressure. Slippers – a nice touch. Smoke detector – present and accounted for. Socket near the bed – check. Sofa – lumpy. Soundproofing – surprisingly good. Telephone – useless, except for calling…well, you get the idea. Toiletries – decent. Towels – varied in absorbency depending on the day. Umbrella – useless. Visual alarm – nope. Wake-up service – the beep of doom was more effective. Wi-Fi [free] – mostly. Window that opens – yes, but I didn't dare because of mosquitos.
Accessibility: A Mixed Bag
This is the part that really matters. I want to be clear, I don’t use a wheelchair, but I am including this for the next reviewer who might need this. Access was a mixed bag, to be honest. The lobby/restaurant area was Facilities for disabled guests, and the elevator was a godsend. Elevator – check. The rooms themselves seemed Wheelchair accessible, but I didn’t measure the door widths or anything. The real test, as always, is the bathrooms and the turning space. I’m not qualified to assess the full Wheelchair accessible capabilities (I don't use one), so I recommend confirming specific needs with the hotel directly.
Restaurant Rundown: Food, Fun, and the Case of the Missing Salad
There were several restaurants, and I tried them all. A la carte in restaurant – check. Asian cuisine in restaurant – check, but the sushi was…questionable. Bar – lively, but expensive. Breakfast [buffet] – decent, but the scrambled eggs tasted suspiciously like they came from a carton. Coffee/tea in restaurant – lukewarm. Desserts in restaurant – the only consistent win. International cuisine in restaurant – yes, but the "international" often meant generic. Poolside bar – lovely, but the drinks were watered down. Restaurants – galore! Room service [24-hour] – the biggest disappointment. The food arrived cold, and it took an hour and a half. Also, I tried to order a damn salad, but they were out. Out of salad! Vegetarian restaurant – had some options, but they were pretty bland. Western breakfast – passable. Western cuisine in restaurant – okay. Happy hour – I missed it every time.
The Spa Experience: Body Wraps, Steamrooms, and the Illusion of Relaxation
The spa was…okay. Body scrub - check. Body wrap - check. Fitness center - check. Foot bath - check. Gym/fitness - check. Massage – actually, that was pretty heavenly. The masseuse was brilliant. Pool with view – yes. Sauna – yes. Spa – obviously. Spa/sauna – yep. Steamroom – steamy. Swimming pool – yes. Swimming pool [outdoor] – yes. I got a massage. The pool was pretty great. The Steamroom was a classic, and the Sauna was also classic; they were both so hot, I wanted to run out, but I stayed in!
COVID-19 Safety: The "Trying Their Best" Edition
The hotel was clearly trying with its Cleanliness and safety measures. Anti-viral cleaning products – hopefully. Cashless payment service – yep. Daily disinfection in common areas – I saw them cleaning, so…maybe? Hand sanitizer – everywhere (thank goodness). Hand sanitizer – yep. Hot water linen and laundry washing – good, but I didn’t check. Hygiene certification – doubtful. Individually-wrapped food options – check. Physical distancing of at least 1 meter – sometimes? Professional-grade sanitizing services – I’m assuming. Rooms sanitized between stays – I hope so! Safe dining setup – mostly. Sanitized kitchen and tableware items – I hope so! Staff trained in safety protocol – seemed like it. Sterilizing equipment – who knows?!
Things to Do (Or Not Do):
There was supposed to be a concierge, and they could have told me Things to do, but whatever. The Concierge was…useless.
Services and Conveniences: The Good, the Useless, and the Occasionally Helpful
Audio-visual equipment for special events – I’m sure they had it. Business facilities – they had them. Cash withdrawal – available. Currency exchange – probably. Daily housekeeping – mostly. Doorman – yes. Dry cleaning – yes. Elevator – yes. Essential condiments – (like salt and pepper) – available. Facilities for disabled guests – (see above). Food delivery – I didn't try it. Gift/souvenir shop – overpriced. Indoor venue for special events – yes. Invoice provided – yes. Ironing service – I didn’t use it. Laundry service – also. Luggage storage – yes. Meeting/banquet facilities – yes. *Meetings
Casa Alice Rovinj: Your Dream Croatian Escape Awaits!
Okay, buckle up buttercups, because we're not just scheduling a trip to Rochester, Minnesota, we're living it. This isn't some meticulously crafted itinerary; this is a chronicle of my (probably slightly messy) adventures. Let’s get this show on the road…
The "Best Western Rochester Hotel, Mayo Clinic Area/ St. Mary's" Itinerary of Utter Chaos (and Occasional Brilliance)
Day 1: Arrival and the Existential Dread of the Hotel Lobby
1:00 PM - 1:30 PM: Arrival, Check-in and the "Is My Room Key Going to Actually Work?" Stress.
- Okay, so the drive was smoother than my brain usually functions. Which is saying something. Found the Best Western. It’s… beige. Like, a whole lot of beige. The lobby smells faintly of chlorine and… hope. My hope that my suitcase isn't already lost in transit. Check-in? Standard. Except for the intense paranoia that my keycard won't work. Will it? WILL IT?! Deep breaths…
- Anecdote: I swear, the lady at the reception desk looked like she'd seen a thousand weary travelers. I probably look a thousand years older.
1:30 PM - 2:30 PM: Room Reconnaissance and Judgement of the Mattress.
- The room! This is where the game truly begins. First impressions? Eh, it's a room. Clean-ish. The bed is the real judge of all hotel rooms. The Mattress Test. I flop. It sinks slightly. Acceptable. I’ve slept on worse. Much worse. (Thinking of that camping trip in the rain…oh god.)
- Quirky Observation: There's a miniature ironing board. Who irons on vacation? Are you ironing? I bet you're ironing. I am not ironing.
2:30 PM - 3:30 PM: The Mayo Clinic Exploration Prep (or, "Panic-Go-Round" Begins)
- Okay, reality check. I'm here for… reasons. Medical reasons. That's what's this whole trip is about. Time to look at the Mayo Clinic map. I’m already overwhelmed. It’s huge! I think I need a snack. Chocolate. Always chocolate.
- Emotional Reaction: A wave of…something… washes over me. Mild anxiety? Anticipation? The fear of a thousand medical procedures? A cocktail of all of them.
3:30 PM - 5:00 PM: The Grocery Store Dash and the Power of Cheapo Snacks
- Alright, gotta hit the grocery store. I cannot survive on hotel vending machines alone. I need sustenance. Real food. The goal: acquire the essential snacks and drinks.
- Messy Structure/Rambles: The grocery store? It's a sensory overload. So many choices! I'm easily swayed by shiny packaging. Did I need that six-pack of gummy bears? No. Did I buy them? Yes. And a bag of chips. And a giant bottle of water that'll definitely leak. My packing skills are impeccable… said no one ever.
5:00 PM - 6:00 PM: Unpacking and the Sweet Release of… Netflix?
- Unpacking. The bane of my existence. But, finally, a little zen moment. Everything in its (relatively) rightful place. Then… Netflix. The siren song of binge-watching. I'm going to catch up on so many documentaries. No, wait "The Great British Bake Off". Must. Watch.
- Opinionated Language: Screw it, I'm tired, and the hotel room is mine! I'm going to be as lazy as I want to be.
6:00 PM - 7:00 PM: Dinner Quest and the Mystery of the "Near, Yet Somehow Far, Restaurants."
- Okay, where to eat? Found some restaurants nearby. The problem? "Nearby" seems to have a very elastic definition. Google Maps. I hate Google Maps. But I need food. Maybe a burger? Or something leafy? Who am I kidding? Burger it is.
- Emotional Reaction: The sheer decision of where to eat is exhausting.
7:00 PM - 9:00 PM: Dinner… and The Bedtime Stories
- A quick note here: I ordered my dinner at "Wicked Moose Bar & Grill", and it was a pleasant experience, with good food and drink - I'm so happy… I can face whatever happens tomorrow, if I eat something delicious, and something strong.
- Opinionated Language: I decided to return to the hotel, and fall into my (acceptable) bed, and watch Netflix until my eyes close.
- Messy Structure/Rambles: Maybe I'll try the gym. Or not. Maybe I'll order room service. Or not. Definitely going to sleep, or at least pretend to.
Day 2: The Mayo Clinic - A Marathon, Not a Sprint
7:00 AM - 7:30 AM: The Awakening and Coffee-fueled Existential Dread.
- Alarm. Blasts. Ugh. Okay, coffee. Lots of it to jumpstart the system. The coffee here? Surprisingly decent. And the breakfast offered? More than decent. But the dread… the dread is always there. It's like my shadow.
- Quirky Observation: The hotel breakfast buffet is a microcosm of humanity. Everyone, silently, judging each other's choices.
7:30 AM - 8:00 AM: The "Get Ready and Don't Panic" Routine.
- Shower. Brush teeth. Try to look like I have it all together. Fail. But look on the bright side: I don't need to look my best today.
- Emotional Reaction: Okay, deep breaths. It's going to happen. Deep breaths.
8:00 AM - 9:00 AM: The Mayo Clinic Arrival and the "Where Do I Even Go?" Moment.
- Okay, I'm there. The Mayo Clinic. It's… big. So. Big. So many people. So many doors. Where am I supposed to go? The information desk. Always the information desk.
- Anecdote: I swear, I saw a doctor who looked exactly like George Clooney. This is real life, right?
9:00 AM - 12:00 AM: The Appointments - A blur of Waiting Rooms and the Patient Game
- Appointments. Waiting. More waiting. Reading. Trying not to analyze every cough, sniffle, and sigh.
- Doubling Down on a Single Experience: The Waiting Room Experience. It’s a masterclass in human behavior. People are staring. People are whispering. People are on their phones. And I'm sitting there, wondering if I should read. Or zone out. Or just stare at the ceiling. The tension hangs in the air like a thick fog. And, oh my god the people are chatty. I'm trying to read. I don't wanna talk. I need someone to give me a Xanax. No, I don't. Okay, maybe I do.
- Opinionated Language: I hate waiting rooms. I hate them so much.
12:00 PM - 1:00 PM: The "Lunch is a Necessity" Break.
- Lunch. It's required. Found a cafe. The food? Perfectly adequate. Fuel. That's all it is. Fuel.
- Emotional Reaction: I just need to get through this.
1:00 PM - 4:00 PM: More Appointments (More Waiting, More Judging).
- Rinse, and repeat the whole process.
- Messier Structure/Rambles: I'm starting to lose track of time. Time is a construct. Or something.
4:00 PM - 5:00 PM: The Post-Appointment Wind-Down. (and the Coffee)
- Back to the hotel. Sit. Drink coffee. Try to process everything.
- Emotional Reaction: Exhaustion has met up with relief. And a pinch of a little more dread.
5:00 PM - 7:00 PM: Eating and a Little More TV.
- Opinionated Language: Ordering some takeout, and just going straight to bed.
- Messy Structure/Rambles: I'm over it.
7:00 PM Onward: Sleep is the Ultimate Escape.
- Exhaustion…
Day 3: Departure and a Bit of Perspective
- 7:00 AM - 9:00 AM: The Wake up, Pack, and Check Out
- Opinionated Language: I hate packing. I hate checking out.
So, like, what *is* this whole "thing" anyway?
Ugh, fine. Technically, it's... well, let's just say it's a collection of my opinions, observations, and ramblings... about stuff. Think of it as a virtual thought dump. Warning: it's messy. Very messy. Like my sock drawer, except less organized and with more existential angst. And probably more questionable snacks.
Are you, like, an expert?
Expert? HA! Honey, the only thing I'm an expert in is overthinking. And possibly eating entire bags of gummy bears in one sitting. So, no. I'm just a person with a keyboard and a tendency to ramble. If you're looking for facts, go look up Wikipedia – I'm here for the chaos.
Why are you doing this? Is it, like, for fame or something?
Fame? Bless your heart. If fame was the goal, I'd be, like, shilling teeth-whitening strips on Instagram. No. I'm doing this because my brain is a chaotic funhouse and it needs an outlet. Also, I'm hoping maybe, just maybe, someone out there will feel less alone in their own weirdness. And hey, if someone laughs along the way, even better. (And if someone sends me pizza, even *better* better.)
What's your writing process like? Do you, like, have a routine?
Routine? Pfft. My "routine" involves caffeine, procrastination, and a battle with the internet. I usually start with a vague idea, a desperate need to avoid doing actual work, and then… well, then things unravel. Ideas pop into my head at the most inconvenient times – like, mid-shower. Then I frantically try to remember it, usually failing, and then I just... go with whatever mental train wreck I have in front of me. It's a glorious, messy disaster. And frankly, I wouldn't have it any other way.
Do you ever get writer's block?
Oh, hell YES. Writer's block is my frenemy. Sometimes it's a tiny, annoying gnat buzzing around in the back of my mind. Other times, it's a giant, hairy yeti blocking the path to any coherent thought. I usually try to trick it with distractions – reading, listening to music, staring blankly at the ceiling. (Mostly staring blankly at the ceiling.) Sometimes that works. Sometimes I just eat a whole baguette and cry. It's a gamble.
What's your favorite type of… *content* to create?
I honestly love just letting my brain do its thing and seeing where it takes me. I get the best joy when I am able to turn something that is painful or difficult into humour. Life's too short to not laugh at ourselves. And I do love a good rant. Something that bugs me? Watch out. I mean it, I really, REEEALLY love a good rant.
Have you ever had anything *completely* unexpected happen when writing?
Oh god, yes. Okay, so there was this one time... I was writing about a memory, about losing my dear Grandma. A really good memory and a really awful one. And, like, the words just started flowing. And I mean, *flowing*. (Okay, maybe not *flowing* – more like gushing, like a burst pipe). I was sobbing, absolutely bawling, snot running down my face, the whole nine yards. But the words... they were *there*. Honest. Raw. Beautiful, even. (Okay, maybe not *beautiful*, but definitely real). And when I finally finished, I felt... exhausted. And then I realised I had written a whole extra section. The content was pure. The kind I never planned. But like… maybe it needed to happen. A total, complete, unscripted mess of a revelation that I never planned on sharing but, like, maybe needed to feel seen. It was cathartic, terrifying, and utterly unforgettable. And now I have to keep it. Because what else can I do? I am a wreck, a disaster. But this is... probably… good? I think.
What are your biggest writing weaknesses? And don't lie!
Oh god, where do I start? Okay, so... I overthink. Constantly. I edit obsessively and then, sometimes, I *un-edit* and just throw it out there. I doubt myself constantly. I worry if anyone will *get* it. I have a tendency to go on tangents. I sometimes forget what I was talking about in the first place. Also? Grammar. I'm not the best at grammar. My internal editor is a very grumpy, overworked little goblin. And time, time is my enemy. It is never enough. But hey, at least I'm honest, right?
What do you hope people take away from all this…?
Honestly? I hope you feel a little less alone in the beautiful disaster that is being human. I hope you laugh. I hope you maybe, just maybe, see some of yourself in my mess. And if you don't, that's fine too! But maybe, just maybe, you've found a new friend in the chaos. That's all I really want. And maybe a steady supply of gummy bears. Oh, and if you are reading this, Thank you! I appreciate you spending time with me and reading my chaos.
